I am hoping this is not absolutely ridiculous, but I have read numerous posts about the unpleasant feelings about having to reveal trauma details to your t. I'm working with the contrary.
I've many 'troubles' that I am conscious of from an emotionally/verbally abusive step father to an adult that I trusted in HighSchool as being a maternal figure that showed she had different suggestions for that relationship... Then what's daily becoming more of the confidence that I have repressed very early punishment (I have always had terrors but am not experiencing his and my voice within my head and it isnot pleasant exchange of words)... I've NEVER told information on any one of this stuff. I have stated to 2 people that "anything" occurred with this person that was the extent and I respected. I am plagued short movie in my own head of those I recall by photos and today these voices of what I believe.
Does this sound right to ANYBODY? I know I would be REMARKABLY embaressed to express the items I would need to and I wish it'snot something ill building me wish to... But I'm worried we are going to spend years because he thinks I'm scared, tiptoeing around the details and that I am desperately wanting to spill the beans. I wish I can tell him this, however it is not allowed.
I have found that I am unable to tell him SOMETHING if he doesn't ask directly and am dealing with a t. I have told him this and he is great at attempting to ask me questions. The problem is, I can also not tell him things to ask. I know it could appear completely insane, however it is much like I am not allowed to only openly tell things but I am allowed to answer. He's gone forth and back about 'processing' injury and then I believe I'm so silent about things happening he does not believe they starts to think we have to go another way and are. I get so disappointed when I hear him discuss not addressing the trauma especially and acquire very frustrated and want to quit trust about actually getting relief. I cannot tell him that although it is like I KNOW I've to get these details out. I think he is also concerned I can't manage working with the injury specifically as a result of my anxiety attacks, but I really donot understand how to adjust some of desperate to talk trauma this. He talks about trauma that you can and wanting to get it done with as small detail and I have learn about all these new solutions to handle PTSD without detailed processing, but I want it so bad.